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Anonymous
4 months ago
Q: Why did the archaeologist's wife divorce him?
A: Because he was carbon dating.
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Anonymous
4 months ago
Yo momma's so ugly, we had to tie a steak around her neck so the dogs would play with her.
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Anonymous
4 months ago
Q: Where can you buy most of your chess pieces?
A: the pawn shop
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Anonymous
4 months ago
Q: What does half of an apple look like?
A: The other half.
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Anonymous
4 months ago
Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train...
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Anonymous
4 months ago

When a cat meets you, he's like, "Die." Then you work up to that purr; that purr means something. People are like, 'My dog loves me.' I'm like, 'Yeah, but your dog would also love a bag of sticks...

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Anonymous
4 months ago

Why don't witches wear undies?

To get a better grip on their brooms.

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Anonymous
5 months ago
Ya need an ark? I Noah guy.
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Anonymous
5 months ago
I think I killed my best friend. He asked me what was the best thing for sunburn and I told him, "Sit in the sun for eight hours."
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Anonymous
5 months ago
Q: Why did the razor cross the face?
A: To get to the other sideburn.