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Anonymous
9 months ago
It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were sleeping when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? (paused for a few seconds) How the heck do I...
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Anonymous
10 months ago
What do you have to do when your mother-in-law taps the window? Turn the furnace a little higher.
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Anonymous
10 months ago
Is a date a fruit or a vegetables? You don't know until he's at the door.
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Anonymous
10 months ago
Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here's 10, now get out!
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Anonymous
10 months ago
How do you turn a fox into a pig? You marry her.
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Anonymous
10 months ago
What is the difference between your wife and your lover? 30 minutes.
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Anonymous
10 months ago
A man came home to find his wife in bed with a stranger. "What the hell are you two doing?" He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."
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Anonymous
10 months ago
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!
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Anonymous
10 months ago
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
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Anonymous
10 months ago
I bough my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.