OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior. EDUCATION School: Very Expensive Major: Not Important GPA: Don't Ask EMPLOYMENT NETWORK MANAGEMENT (9/96-Present) Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those messages. DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/99) Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father. RESIDENT INHALER (9/98-6/99) Assisted all students with chemical intake from purchasing to exhaling. COMPUTER SKILLS *Solitaire *Minesweeper *On/Off Repair Method HONORS AND AWARDS *First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament *Said Toast at brother's wedding *High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.
You may be interested in
Psychic Friends Knock, knock.... Q: What do you call... Innkeeper: "The... What do hookers and... A magician was... I hear OJ Simpson... Why is it that your... A young boy was... Naughty Burger Yo mom is so dumb... Yo momma so fat,... Q: How do you... Yo momma is so... You have so many... Officer: "Madam,... Toothbrush Q: What starts with... How does a man show... God made rivers,...